Thoughts of a Sprite

Monday, November 01, 2004

Computers

I had updated this really long nice blog, about my weekend, and how it did not go as planned, but I had a good time anyways, and then it erased.

Since then I have had a dramatic shift in mood. I called the doctor to find out if my results are in, and they are. Of the two pieces he took, one of them came back negative, and the other came back a positive for pre - cancer, which is the good news. He said that the precancer appeared to be contained within the border of the biopsy, but that it was close to the edge, meaning there could be more. The bad news is that when I asked the Doctor, he could not advise if it was enough to have created the high level of abnormality of the original test results. So I said, well what does that mean? This simply means that we know no more than we did a month ago. That something is wrong, and he does not know what it is, and that it is still probably in there! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I am exsaperated! I am going to get a second opinion. My Doctor says that we have to wait now another 6 months to allow for proper healing and try again.... Try again? I am sorry no disrespect meant, but what the fuck does this mean, try again? I don't understand why this is soooooo hard? I know nothing more than when I went in the first time, having a really wierd cramp in my ovary area on the right side???? @#$&^@%!(#(#()$&$^$(*#(#()%&*) BEEEEp BEEEEEP BEEEEEP mother BEEEP!

On top of this, we found out muh Boyfriend's father has lung cancer, and it is in the lymphnodes. This not good. We won't know how bad until next week sometime... Now we managed to have an okay weekend, even though his car blew up on Friday morning, on the interstate, on the way to school. Needless to say we did not go to Jacksonville. We spent a majority of the weekend fixing his car, or renting dollies, borrowing trucks and towing it to where it could get fixed. I enjoyed the time with him though. We went out Saturday, and dispite the terrible news of his father's condition, he still managed to keep a positive attitude, as we were celebrating my admission to UF. I thought he was very sweet. I rode the mechanical bull, and did not fall off. Then Saturday we did make it to the wedding, and it was nice.

I am sorry this entry is not as positive as it was the first time I typed it, but I needed to vent... I am just not in a very good mood after my news, or lack there of, of my biopsies.... Try again. How inept? I am going to have my entire file faxed to my primary care giver, and let him decide if I need to seek another opinion.

I guess this will end my rant. I could go on, but I really did have a nice weekend, dispite the overcast of bad news and broken cars. And this really was intended to be a very happy blog entry.... it is ashame that the first one got deleted. Then this rant could have been an additional entry! And even though things did not go as planned, I really do just enjoy being around him.

I am sooooo not in the mood to do a spell check either, so pardon the errors, or blah blah blah....

shes_a_sprite @ 2:34 PM.

1 comments

Rachel said...

My dear, I urge you to get a second and third opinion, it is really important for you to seek out as many opinions as you can in order to see if there are any common conclusions amongst the doctors. I learned one thing from my fathers death and that is to never put your health/life fully in the hands of doctors, meaning you have to do a lot of research and investigation pertaining to your symptoms etc. They are all a bunch of %^&**^%$$^&*(*&^%$###%^ !!!!!

I am sorry to hear about the news of your boyfriends dad, that is a terrible thing. He is lucky that he has your support. :)

I send you hugs

6:18 PM